The biggest obstacle against equality is your mind, and understanding when your unconscious is acting on your conscious or vise versa. We, unless you are living somewhere where you are not affected by media, or anyone else who has access to media, are constantly being bombarded by stigmas and stereotypes on everything and anything, but especially on women.
TV and movies are telling us who can do what and why. There are a lot of articles out there, and I mean a lot, that cover how women are sexualized all the time in advertisements, as living manikins for products, as sexual objects to be obtained, and compared to others to decide which is better than the other.
Not only are women being used and portrayed as less than their male counterparts, the predominately white male population are still in control of most of the merchandising decisions that are then being used to further cement how women are being treated through kids toys that are then sold and advertise to children, who further internalize these issues. They sell men action figures at a flick of a finger, but rarely women action figures. Or if they are allowed to have action figures, the toys are usually then sexualized in some way or another.
Most video games still have female characters that are highly sexualized, even though more than half of the gaming population are women. What this shows is that the industry is still male orientated and that the number of women involved with end games, including toys, are little and far between.
There is a light at the end of the tunnel. Women are organizing, amassing behind brands demanding changes like the inclusion of Ray in the Star Wars game sets, or a change in character standing positions in a game. What this means is that change can happen, it just takes voices being heard to change them, that and putting your money where your mouth is.
Now, why should we care about this in writing?
When you find the stories that break these bonds placed on women by the decision makers in society, these gems really stick. Take Fallout 4, you can play as a female lead without the archetypes thrown on you, or Mad Max: Fury Road where women shared the main characters roll and were allowed to be and actively participate in the plot-line, or Voyager, or any Hayao Miyazaki film. These movies show the world that women can be equal and do well in the world as men.
People read, I read, I actually read vasts amounts of materials. I internalize what I read, especially if it's emotional or traumatic. I adjust my opinions from time to time based off of what I read, I also will completely move away from a book that leaves me distressed at the choices a character makes. These character choices affect how women feel about themselves and the choices they make/made currently in their lives and in the future.
Kids read these books, young adults read these books, adults read these books. I personally started consuming books at a rapid place in about 7th grade. I have no idea what my actual number of read books is, but its probably in the thousands especially since I can read about 3 books or more in a week.
Books are a personal experience, an emotional expereince, and through these novels opinions are formed, just like through other media, on how people should act, what is desireable and what isnt's, and how to act between each other.
To read without reflection is like eating without digesting- Edmund Burke
We all reflect when we read to some extent. We internalize what has been written and involve ourselves in the characters lives. While we read, we compare our life experiences to what is happening in the book, we then use both material to reflect on our discussions and that of the author.
A good book makes you want to live in the story, a great books gives you no choice. - Antonymous
If you write a book that indicates one body is better than the other, you ostracize a majority of your readers. If you have a lead character demean another person for their sexual exploits, then you are removing a large group of readers from your material. If you have a character that is never more than a victim and used as a sexual object, you will remove quite a few of your readers.
You the reader, you the writer, have the power to change minds, damage minds, and rebuild minds. Choose your words carefully. The following can be used for any genre, but a few are particularly true for romance, but can sneak in elsewhere in non-romance genres.
How do you know if your writing, or reading material reflects this? Here are a few that I have come across:
Do you introduce your characters by comparing them to their friends, or the stereotype of a group?
Suggest instead just introducing your character on their own figure
Do you put your characters body shape down for being too thin, too thick, too something?
Suggest if they have a body image problem, work it in elsewhere and be sure you don't use their -bodies as a comparison to others unless it is part of a plot point.
Do you imply that people who go past a certain point too soon in a relationship are sluts, or whores?
Suggest that your character is not comfortable going past a specific sexual point in a relationship for their own reasons, and please, do not shame others who chose to go further.
Stating in the beginning of the book that all sex is consensual, and have a scene where no consent is given (verbally or non-verbally) to the sexual experience that occurs.
Suggest including verbal consent (my favorite), or a safety word or action later that gives the person the option of stopping, at the very least provide the reader non-verbal consent before the act. Consent in any form is a must, and personally a deal breaker for me when reading.
Is your hero a stud, with lines of sexual partners under their belt, but their partner is worried that if they sleep with them they'll be a seen as less than/
Suggest instead saying that they will be emotionally devastated if they have sex and then are left. By saying that they will be like all the girls that have gone before implies that anyone who is in control of their sexuality and choose who they do or do not have sex with even for a one night stand is seen as less than or worth nothing. (usually the women are sluts or whores while them men are seen as strong, one sexuality is elevated and confirmed, while the other is put down and seen as less than)
If you have a question on if your work implies sexual biased, suggest switching which character says what, and if it doesn't ring true please change it up!
References
http://time.com/3908138/women-in-media-sad-truths-report/
http://adage.com/article/news/a-back-portrayals-women-advertising/294756/
http://www.attn.com/stories/5512/women-not-objects-fights-sexism-in-advertising
http://www.forbes.com/sites/erikkain/2016/01/25/excluding-rey-from-star-wars-the-force-awakens-toys-is-really-dumb/#60aa28e05c1a
http://remeshed.com/2016/fallout-4-different-game-played-woman/
